MY MOTHERLAND 

Ever seen a graceful land so weary,so lonely and so empty ? A land once rich,fruitful and full,now abandon by all just because of one man. 

A beautiful country,amazing culture,different traditions but united at heart.Some forced to flee,some tortured and killed,some still living as captives and others no where to be seen.There’s no tomorrow where there is no one to follow,we are weak we have accepted defeat.I still remember my brothers and sisters who were slaughtered in Libya,I still remember those who drowned while crossing over,I still remember the innocent women tortured and sexually abused in prison,there’s so much I remember but I can’t explain through the anger and pain.

Talk of correction facilities,over 500 prisons but we are looking at zero universities,three colleges and no quality education.One thing am proud of is the fact that our youth flee to get education and honor but I just can’t understand why we can’t make great leaders in our own country,I don’t understand why we are scared to speak up,I don’t understand why we choose to be separated from own just because we can’t stand up for our own rights.

There’s no food,no water,no medical institutions,no security,no youths you are forced to give guns to our parents,it breaks my heart to see people supporting such leaders.They offer one bread per person in a day,they take charge of all the harvest,they changed our currency and asked people to give back the little money they had,there is no internet,no communication,there are no charity organizations,no foreign trade,no employment,no factories,no modern technology,One poor country;we have killed our own even those who ran away for safety

I personally don’t think we need human right activists to woe from Europe and Canada,I don’t think a 17 years old should cross borders and leave behind the elderly,I don’t think we should let a brother kill his own sister in the name of “Laws”,I don’t think we should get education and honors to work in foreign countries,I don’t think we should erase our culture and traditions by intermarrying and teaching our children how to speak fluent English,I don’t think we should let our so called leaders ruin it all for us.

 

My heart felt condolences to the family of the ones silenced for speaking out.

Acceptance 

But I’m just a girl! I don’t wanna look like this. I don’t wanna walk like this. Why is my hair short and why do I sound small? I wish I looked older or a little bit taller. Do you think I would look prettier if my skin was a little lighter or rather do you think I need a make over ??

 
But I’m just a girl; Instagram give me a break, Facebook I need some space, Snapchat can I breath for a min ?? They said opinions count,I’m scared to hear yours,I’m afraid to receive compliments and I completely reject comments. Do you know why ???

Because am just a girl! I don’t have it all and I don’t know where to get more. I’m skinny, I’m short, I’m brown, I’m human and I’m happy. “Love yourself first before you love somebody else ” It took me a while to sink that in but then I realized….


That am just a girl; born beautiful in the image of God, bold and strong, tough, young, full of life. I have never been this brave nor have I ever had so much confidence.
Yes am a girl. Took me time to write this. If I had a chance I would do more, but this is one thing I have always wanted to let out ….Our generation has taken all sorts of measures to criticize others on social media based on appearance and looks; I was a victim until I realized that am just a girl but no ordinary girl. Now comfortable in my own skin, I can smile day and night. So what if that jeans doesn’t fit ?! Who cares? haha 
I am just a girl ………

MAMA

“Mama why, why mama?

I was created beneath your beautiful,I lived my first 8 years with a sense of belonging;with so much care and love I remained to exist until you took that away from me. My heart is broke,memories remain still. Are you human ? Do you have a heart ?

And mama do you know you left a beautiful soul behind ?? I still remember the night you brought her home tiny feet,tiny hands I was not just inlove with her smile but with her cry too .The only happy childhood memory I hold within me .

And mama do you know that am not mad at you am not am just sad that I never had a normal childhood, Do you know that Sissy cried every night ? Do you know that I changed her diapers? Do you know that I fed her,bathed her and clothed her ?? How old was I again ? Good I was 8 years old  but it didn’t hurt me at all until she was taken away from me that day I died inside that day I realized I had no mother that day…………

And mama I forgive you but did you know father grew anger and bitterness within?? Did u know that we began our lives after you and even thou you tried to snatch away my life from me I still love you. Back to school back hustles back to fights back to rejection back to denial back to abuse but mama I wish you were there to guide me to advice me that way maybe I would have avoided all  the stupid mistakes I made .

Mama do you know that I grew up ?? I met people others harmed me others protected me .Mama do you know that I grew bitter my heart is full of anger my mind is full of worry but this echoes within me do you know why ? I will tell you mama because you weren’t there to teach me the wrongs and rights,the dos and the donts  and now I live by the impact made in my life by that evil man .Dont worry thou am good am a strong woman i pulled thru and I have learnt my lesson .

But mama where have you been for last ten years ??? And why haven’t you asked for forgiveness? Do you know what i went thru in your absence? Do you even care ?? 

Mama now that your back I only ask for one thing give sissy the life I didn’t have. Oh and yes mama I cleared school and do you know that i started my own business ?,Do you know that Yorda graduated ? Do you know that Tam got job ? And do you know that Dan got married?? Mama you didn’t want to be our mother am still not sure if you wanna be a grandmother but if you do then you already have two beautiful grandchildren.

Mama I love you …………… 

Heart because it Hurts 

“It’s okay heart it’s okay ”

Words you breath and sink in day in day out,it’s not our fault that we are high and drunk on what we call bitterness ….A heart once reject the emptyness,loneliness,sadness,bitterness ;look at what you turned me into ….if not a mothers love don’t deny me a man’s love it’s not my fault I swear it’s not my fault that am drowning in a pool of unwanted affection and attention when all I want is you .

It’s okay heart it’s okay you can let go now don’t be scared with time you will heal your wounds will close your scars will remain to remind you of who you are and the strength you hold with in …..So what ??if You can face the world with your back why can’t you shake off the burden on your shoulder why can’t you cry out your sorrow why can’t you erase your memories just like the way the sun sets tomorrow is a beautiful day and your man will rise all you have to do is be patient like every season it’s not spring till winter is gone .

Its okay heart it’s okay you can hurt we all fall  only to get back up ….”Am inlove” is not a phrase am gonna use any time soon because Heart I care about you and even thou my mind sings the song my heart will always write the lyrics…Sticking to my own because I know tomorrow I will love my own .

It’s okay heart it’s all over now .